I have this possibly unideal habit (read quirk) of spending a ridiculous amount of time on Right Move.
I love searching local listings, seeing what’s out there, and imagining what it would be like to live in a new home. I wonder where the sofa would go and how I could turn that space into a cute little reading nook.
Other times, I’ll drive through a part of the country that I absolutely love, and when I get home and everyone is asleep, I’ll go on and look at the houses for sale.
I also have this fantasy about moving to the Orkney Islands into some small, remote cottage. When I feel like escaping, I might scour Right Move looking for the perfect little place to call home.
It’s weird.
I don’t know why I do this???
I love my home. It has its quirks and still needs a lot of work, but for the most part, it’s actually pretty cosy and lovely (and was once a manifestation on my vision board).
My daughter is settled at school, and after years of feeling so unsettled, it feels nourishing to finally start to put down roots. As the years go by, I am finding a sense of belonging and community.
So why do I do this?
There are probably some psychological reasons for doing this.
It could be a desire for a clean start when my life feels messy — like moving to a remote island in Scotland, with its rugged cliffs, sea views, and open skies, would somehow make all my problems disappear. I could live simply, and things would be easier.
It could be a way to cope with stress.
Or it is rooted in the fact that I moved around a lot in childhood and never had a proper sense of home.
It could be a coping mechanism when life gets too stressful, but really, deep down to two things.
- It’s some sort of grass-is-greener type of syndrome – some form of mental escapism as I try to imagine the person I would be if I lived in that house.
- And it’s a desire for novelty or seeking something new and exciting.
Is it a “bad habit” that I should try and stop, or should I?
Instead of shaming myself, I like to look a little deeper and see what it’s trying to show me.
At the root of it all, I’m a dreamer — this probably has a lot to do with the third line in my human design, which loves to experiment and try new things.
It could be because I am a Gemini Rising, naturally curious, and love being open to new ideas and possibilities.
Knowing this about myself helps me understand why I do certain things that can be seen as a “waste of time” or a pointless way to expend my energy.
What if I could recognise and honour this about myself instead of trying to change myself. To see this delightful trait as both a strength and a challenge, not to try and change it, but to imagine ways I could harness it to best serve me.
Like noticing what I think this new “ideal” home would give me, and how I can create that in my current home.
Or it’s highlighting that I feel a little stuck or stagnant and could find ways to freshen things up in my physical space to boost my mood and inspire more creativity.
And the same can be true in your business.
How many habits, character flaws, or unideal (read not productive) behaviours do you beat yourself up about in your business?
It can be so easy to have a vision of your perfect self in business — someone who you think you should be to be successful or have the type of business you desire.
It keeps you constantly feeling like you need to improve or fix yourself. It could even make you strip away some of the gifts that make you, you!
We buy into the idea that there is one ideal way to do business or find success.
It’s engrained in us. We pay to have someone else’s blueprint, process, and systems, thinking that if we just force ourselves to be more like them, we will find the success, satisfaction, and peace we crave.
We try to change these parts of ourselves and mould ourselves to match some external standard.
The problem with this type of obsession is that it often causes burnout, frustration, and a lack of joy in your work!
It’s what gets you trapped and chasing a target that is constantly moving or just out of reach.
Which is why I don’t believe in beating yourself up over perceived flaws in your business
When talking to clients about how to better manage their energy and time, they can sometimes be really hard on themselves.
Maybe you also tend to have a lot of self-judgement and have most likely experienced a lot of guilt and shame around the part of yourself that struggles to “stay organised” or “build systems” in your business.
You’ve most likely tried many things over the years, some of which may have failed because you keep trying to change yourself instead of accepting who you are and working with yourself instead of against yourself.
So much of your energy can be spent feeling like you’re “not enough” or “not doing enough,” and so you use all of your precious mental and emotional energy spinning your wheels without ever feeling like you’re making progress in your business.
How often do we give ourselves enough space to make mistakes, learn things about ourselves, and figure out ways to adapt our business (and systems) to work for us, our needs, desires, and lives?
These days, very little.
What if you looked at these “unideal habits” through a different lens?. What they could be teaching you about yourself and your business?
Instead of seeing these behaviours as unideal, consider reframing some things you think are character flaws.
To see these habits’ strengths and challenges, and how could you work with them in your business?
Here are some common “unideal habits” clients mention or I notice in my work:
🍄 Procrastination reframed could mean you’re a deep thinker who intuitively knows when the right time is to work on something
While this seems like something you need to force your way through, what if this habit is trying to show you something? Maybe what you are trying to do isn’t truly aligned, or how you approach the work drains your energy, so you avoid it.
🍄 Disorganisation reframed could mean you value flexibility and adaptability with a gift of being able to think outside the box and innovate
So many neurodivergent business owners struggle with this, and instead of seeing it as something that needs to be fixed, you could reframe it as part of your creative process. Build systems that feel more intuitive and less rigid and blend flexibility with loosely defined structures so you can harness your creative energy.
🍄 Impulsivity reframed might mean you trust your intuition, like to take quick action, and can spot opportunities or trends.
I used to judge myself for this before I started to recognise the gifts and challenges. My splenic authority in my human design means I can act very impulsively, doing things that seem illogical to others around me.
By learning why you act impulsively (without judgement), you can start to identify when it comes from a place of taking quick action and following your intuition versus making a decision rooted in fear or unaligned with your values and vision.
🍄 Perfectionism reframed could mean that you love to create thoughtful work and pick up on details others might overlook.
Whenever I find myself obsessing over something being perfect, I like to take a step back and see what the root cause of my perfectionism is. Sometimes, it’s me trying to control a situation or being afraid of judgement; other times, it could be self-doubt or fear of getting it wrong.
This unideal habit highlights what I am most afraid of and what I need to let go of perfectionism and move forward with more ease in the moment.
We could all be a little kinder to ourselves when looking at our habits.
Maybe there are some habits that we could try to break. Perhaps these can manifest as unhelpful behaviours in our business. But I truly believe that we have to dig a little deeper to find the root of why these habits were formed in the first place.
Are there truly good and bad behaviours or unintended rituals that have been formed? Perhaps these habits are not bad but merely unintentionally created. If we can view them through the lens of kindness and curiosity rather than guilt or frustration, we could transform them into signals for when we are out of alignment and a gentle reminder to recalibrate.
Let’s transform how you see your business bad habits – and learn to work with yourself, instead of against yourself
P.S. If we don’t know each other, I’m Stacey. An (anti) productivity guide & business manager, helping deeply feeling photographers & solopreneurs reshape their businesses so you can go from feeling stuck and drained to knowing how to manage your business and energy in a way that supports you! If you want to learn more about my 1:1 work, click here.
P.P.S. Thanks so much for reading – If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it with a friend who will love it too!
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